The Emotional Roller Coaster When Someone is Out of Your League

When I started blogging again few months ago, I told myself not to discuss anything related to love and relationships. It's not that I don't want to write about it but I just find it really broad. Since it's a broad topic, a single blog post about it would totally result into being vague. It is a matter of what worked for me and for others may not work for you. It is difficult to talk about it in general since it totally varies in each individual.

Be that as it may, I am having these random thoughts that I think would be a waste if not shared. So before I start talking about it, I want you to know that this might or might not be applicable to you. It would be great if you could relate to it though.

Here I am going to write about the emotional roller coaster that you most likely have to go through when the one you like or love is totally out of your league.

How does society identify someone who is out of your league? Your dream girl? Your dream guy? Well, there are fairy tales, shoujo stories, telenovelas, and movies that can answer that. Hey, there's no judging here, okay? Everything would just be a platonic discussion. In a fairy tale, the protagonist is usually a commoner partnered with a character of royalty. In a shoujo, the female protagonist usually ends up with a super cool and rich male lead. In a telenovela, a maid gets married to the master of the house. In a movie, an ordinary employee gets into a too good to be true relationship with the president of the company.

Okay, let's drop the love-conquers-all-love-has-no-boundaries thing. No, just no. Let us be more realistic in here. 

You are an ordinary guy with a decent job and basically a normal life. You see this super pretty, hot, and sophisticated-looking girl on Facebook and you totally want her to notice you. You send her a private message and chances are you'll be seenzoned. 

You are an ordinary girl with so-so features and you're not exactly a charming one. You discover this extremely handsome guy going viral and all you can do is smile while browsing his photos and Dubsmash videos. You might start tagging some of your girl friends into his profile and you'd all gush over him. Nothing further than that.

Again, let's be realistic. It's true, don't you dare deny it. Wanting someone who is out of your league is not as easy as leveling the playing field.

Let us call the person you want as OOYL (Out Of Your League).

Emotion #1: Happy

This is the first thing that comes to you. You instantly become a teenager again. Your heart skips a beat just by seeing OOYL. This person's existence gives you something to look forward to. You'd go dancing and happily screaming when you get a chance to have even just a small conversation with OOYL. It is like a drug and you'll get addicted to it.

Emotion #2: Disappointed

You begin to notice the people who are actually on OOYL's level. They look so good together and there's no way you can become a better fit for the one you want so bad. You also can't keep up with OOYL's lifestyle. It is too luxurious for you and you can't maintain your English fluency 24/7. You tend to imagine how the both of you would look like together in a photo and it turns out that OOYL totally looks like your trophy if ever. It's really disappointing.

Emotion #3: Frustrated

Oh to hell with "be yourself". It's really frustrating to believe that OOYL is going to notice you someday. It's frustrating to know that you are the opposite of what OOYL wants. It's like trying to glue the atmosphere and the core together. It's like both of you are not facing each other and you have to go 360 degrees around the globe just for you to be face to face with OOYL - and when you get there, you are not even sure if it's gonna be worth it.

Emotion #4: In Denial

You want OOYL so much that there will be times you're gonna believe in your own lies that it's totally possible. You start developing defense mechanisms and you might even end up being someone you are usually not. You start to confuse real happiness with artificial or temporary joy. Just when you're about to give up, OOYL says hi to you and there you go, back to square one.

Emotion #5: Depressed

Yup, you're gonna be sad for a while and it'll eventually lead to depression. You feel so ugly. Should you wear something else? Should you change your usual look? Why don't you have a car? Why are you so poor? Why are you mediocre? Why are you not famous? Why don't you look like a celebrity? Why are you not good enough? Why did you fall for someone like OOYL?

Emotion #6: Motivated

You want to change yourself for the better. You want to be noticed by OOYL and you want to be in the same classification. You strive to end your own fantasy and get into OOYL's world - for real. You go to the gym, try a new diet, and buy new clothes. You come up with new ways to earn more money. You aim for your own version 2.0!

Again and again, let's be realistic. Such emotional roller coaster really happens! Worst part is.. these emotions come to you in NO PARTICULAR ORDER. They're totally mixed emotions and you'll go crazy.

I won't even leave any concrete advice or suggestions on how to deal with this. Maybe a vague statement would do? I got some legit ways to share but I prefer you to find it out yourself when it finally happens to you - because I do believe that when it comes to dealing with feelings, nobody really listens. When it all comes down to it, a person decides for oneself.

***

So ganito nalang, libre lang mangarap, sige lang taasan mo pa. Pero kapag sumasama kanang tao or masyado kanang nasasaktan dahil sa desires mo na hindi mo naman makuha-kuha, the best you can do is to get rid of your thoughts and feelings. Patayin mo sa puso at utak mo yan, hindi yung basta isasantabi mo lang. Ayun lang, ikaw na talaga ang magaling kapag nagawa mong pigilan ang sarili mo.

He's out of your league. She's out of your league. Good luck to you then.

W